The New Tetris: It is Tetris on your N64

Well I put up the good fight. I bought a new Dazzle DVD Recorder HD. I plugged it on my main laptop, completely refused to work. I brought out my older laptop, it did work, but completely unplayable when capturing. Since nobody is reading these, and I mean literally no one, other people’s media it is until somebody donates me a more powerful laptop(Ha Ha Ha).

newtetrisThis is Tetris on your N64. That’s pretty much what it is and nothing more. Note that this is not actually the “new” Tetris that came about in the early 2000s, which allowed infinite spinning, so this is actually the “old” Tetris, which didn’t. Which rule set you prefer is entirely up to you, so keep that in mind when considering to play this.

It is really, really hard to screw up Tetris. And this rendition of Tetris is done beautifully and without flaw. It’s even important to note that the brick swapping feature, which allows you to “hold” a piece and swap it at will, is new in this version and still in Tetris games to this day.  The graphics are clean and crisp and the music is wonderful. It even has four player mode.


What were you expecting?

So should you go back and play it? Up to you. This is Tetris, granted the old version, but still Tetris. You’ve probably played it elsewhere.  Still, this is a great Tetris rendition. So if you want it and its four player mode, pick it up. If you decide to skip it, you’re not missing much, it is still Tetris after all.

Ign Score: 8.8 They love this version, and so do I!

Amazon link: The New Tetris

N64 Retrospective

Bass Hunter 64: For the inner-fisherman in all of us.

Do you like bassbasshunter-64? Do you like fishing for bass? If so, do I have the game for you. It’s called Bass Hunter 64, and in it, get this, you fish for bass. Amazing I know.

Bass Hunter 64 is a very simple game. Its you, a rod and a motor boat. You zoom around a lake to the right spot, you pick the right lure and cast your line. Then you hope a fish bites and you fight that sucker until you reel it in. Then you do it all over again.  I never said it was the most interesting game.

This is about as interesting as it gets.

This is about as interesting as it gets.

There are two modes, Championship and Fish for Fun. In Championship, you have a set amount of time to catch the biggest bass possible in a particular lake.  If you place in top #3, you get points which allow you to buy better equipment. In Fish for Fun, you… fish for fun. Though in a game like Bass Hunter 64, fun is a relative term.  To be honest, without the goal and pressure of a time limit, things get boring real fast in Fish for Fun, so just stick with the Championship mode.

So should you seek this out? Well, like I said at the start, do you like fishing for bass? If so, seek this out. I don’t exactly have much experience with fishing games, but its actually a pretty good bass hunting game from what I could gleam. The graphics were decent, the controls were good and the bass simulation seems pretty real(for the n64 anyway).  I honestly couldn’t find anything wrong with this game. It’s a solid fishing game if that’s what floats your boat.

Ign score: 7.6 Their bottom line was that this was cool game for fishing fans, everyone else give a rent. I agree with that.

Amazon Link: Bass Hunter 64


N64 Retrospective

Super Smash Bros.

This isuper-smash-brothers-1s the game that started it all. This is a classic. You know this formula by now. You pick your favorite Nintendo characters and you fight each other on crazy stages. Nothing much has changed in 17 years. Sure things have gotten more complex with more characters each iteration, but the basic formula was perfected here and has changed little over the years. It hasn’t needed to really.

One thing that is missing from later iterations that I enjoy in this one are the customized bonus stages that take advantage of the character’s special moves. But I understand why it was removed, making customized stages for 56+ characters(as are in Smash Bros for WiiU and 3DS) would be a pain.  Still its a nice touch.


Now the big question. Should you go back and play this game? That depends. Do you want a large and deep roster of fighters? Not here as there are only 12. Do you like stages where you fight them more than the other fighters? Not here as the stages are largely very simple affairs. Do you like Assist trophies and pokeballs? They aren’t here. Do you like final smashes? They aren’t here. Do you like collecting trophies? They aren’t here. Do you like collecting music tracks? They aren’t here. Do you like have matches on Final Destination with no items? That option isn’t here.

Remember that this was first game in the series and simply laid down the fundamentals. In fact, the series did not really become a phenomenon until Melee(which is still played at fighting game tournaments to this day).  So, if you all want the bells and whistles that have come to define Smash Brothers, this is not your game. If still you want to play the classic game that started it all, by all means, seek this out.  It is still a great game, after all.

Ign Score: 8.5 Their bottom line as was this was great multiplayer game, but had a weak single player and was not a proper fighting game. I’d agree with that. It did not become a fighting behemoth until Melee and didn’t really have a robust single player until Brawl.

Amazon link: Super Smash Bros.

N64 Retrospective

Golden Nugget 64

Golden Nugget 64I started this feature with a game you should go back and play. Now its time for a game you shouldn’t go back and play: Golden Nugget 64. 

Golden Nugget 64 is a casino simulator where you go to a virtual Golden Nugget and gamble with fake money, with the cpu or your friends, until you get bored and quit. You have your standard slots, video poker, craps, roulette and 3 types of poker, plus big six wheel and mini baccarat. All are done well and there’s nothing really negative to say about this game. It does what it does and that’s that.

But if you haven’t guessed by now, there really isn’t much reason to play Golden Nugget 64. There’s no point to this game. Unlike the SNES classic Vegas Stakes, where the point was to win enough money to win the game, here there is no ending. You just gamble until you decide to stop.  I mean yes there is multiplayer gambling, but what’s the point of 4 player split screen poker when you can see your opponent’s cards?


This is Vegas Stakes. Go play this game instead.

If you notice, these types of games don’t aren’t really made anymore. What has replaced them is free-to-play casino sims where each bet costs real cash, except there’s no point in playing them either. You just feed cash into a virtual slot machine and win nothing tangible.  And if you want to actually gamble where you can actually win real money, there are plenty of online casinos(of questionable legality) and poker sites.

The most interesting thing about this game is the size of her "nuggets."

The most interesting thing about this game is the size of her “nuggets.”

The bottom line is, if you want a casino sim to blow some time that you don’t continually feed cash into, you can’t go wrong here. I just don’t see a point to this game.  It was pointless back in 1998 and its pointless now. Go play Vegas Stakes.

Ign score: 7.8 No argument here.

Amazon link: Golden Nugget 64


N64 Retrospective

Mischief Makers

It is time for this site to rise from its grave and for me to actually do something with it. That something, at least until I re-release Deltan Skies next year, is to do a weekly feature called the N64 Retrospective. You see, I’m currently in the process of spending obscene amounts of money I don’t have to collect Nintendo 64 games. But instead of these games just sitting in a drawer, I will take one out every week, play it, and then come on here and review it. Right now I have enough games to do one a week for well over a year and, depending on the popularity, I will collect even more to play for this feature.

mischief_makersThis week we start with Mischief Makers, one of my favorite games of all time and of the only games on the N64 which starred solely a female protagonist. Ok she’s a “Ultra-InterGalactic-Cybot G” or a robot maid, but still counts as female(and strangely isn’t mentioned on the geek feminism wiki).

You play as Marina, the aforementioned robot maid to a Professor Theo, a bumbling old man. You have landed in your spaceship on Planet Clancer home to the Clancer people, currently under the boot of the evil intergalactic empire. The professor gets kidnapped by evil Clancers and off you go.


Mischief Makers is a 2d platformer game which you catch, toss and shake everything that moves to victory. But what sets this game apart are its inventive levels. Each one tends to have a gimmick of some sort. One level you’re riding a bee dodging missiles. Another level has you fighting mini-bosses to bring seven kids back home. One level is an sports tournament where you have to win at least four out of seven events to move on. And then are the big boss battles, which are awesome and the highlight of the game.


Like the guy above, Migen Jr. You have to catch his arms and throw it back at him. Another boss has you riding on the back of a cat while riding missiles. It is fun, it is exciting.

It’s all pretty easy, except for a boss called Phoenix Gamma, which is a bastard. Going back and replying it, I was shocked with how it easy it generally was, until I got to Phoenix Gamma, then the frustration came flooding back. Plus, there are gold gems, where each one extends the length of the ending, so you need them all to see the entire thing. Getting them can be a real challenge(try not getting hit by Phoenix Gamma).

Seriously, fuck this boss!

Seriously, fuck this boss!

Still, it won’t go down as a difficult title. In addition, the game is short. But don’t take my word for it. Here’s a guy playing the whole thing in 2 hours and 55 minutes:

Granted, he does not get all the gold gems nor get the S-rank time in every level(and even has some trouble with Phoenix Gamma), but if you don’t bullshit around and are a decent player, you can beat it in that length of time.

But of course its one thing to watch some guy beat it in less than 3 hours. But the is worth going back and playing Mischief Makers? Yes, it is. Despite being almost childishly easy at times and short, this is considered by many to be an underrated classic. And I’d call it that. After all, this is one of my favorite games.

And when I mean seek it out, I mean search out a cartridge and play on your N64, of course. Hence, at the bottom of every review, I will post an Amazon link where you can go and pay actually money for the game.

IGN Score: 6.2 I have no idea what they were smoking when they handed this one out. Their: bottom line was “Mischief Makers is a great little game, but its graphics are mediocre. 6.2!” I think it is worth at least a 7. But then, I am biased.

Amazon Link:  Mischief Makers by Nintendo.

PS. For right now, I’m only going to use media I find lying around on the net. If and if only if this feature gets significant readers will I look into a capture device and record original footage and screenshots.


I hate McDonald’s Advertising.

I’m a pet sitter. I drive a lot. I listen to the radio, a lot. I hear McDonald’s commercials, a lot. I cannot stand them, at all. Why? Just listen to these series of commercials:

It’s not just a fish sandwich, its THE FILLET-O-FISH!

The McGriddles is so good, somebody had to rap about it

I’m going nuts for a nutty Sunday.

It burns into my minds. McCafe, McGriddles, Fillet-O-Fish. Over and over again. Their pathetic attempts at appealing to a young, hip, urban market. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! They’re annoying as hell because of what McDonald’s is, the definition of bland(except for their awesome mushroom and Swiss angus burger, which they got rid of, assholes!). You’re not fooling anyone. You’re not cool, you’re not hip. You are the Walmart of fast food.

Sure, I eat at McDonald’s, but only because there’re ubiquitous in my service area and I often don’t feel like cooking, but its certainly not because of the radio ads.

Heck, I’m not the only one who hates McDonald’s radio commercials:

That’s it, that’s all I have to say. Mcdonald’s radio commercials suck and I’d wish they’d go off the radio asap.


K23 Side Story: Wild Woman

This is a older story from Sandworm Rodeo starring Metara Fillion, an elven character from Deltan Skies, but reading that book is not required. 

A twenty-one year old Metara Fillion stood at attention next to her fellow cadets in a Sector Omega base training room, a bare stone room. In front of her marched Training Mistress Ellara Pertenian. “Ladies, today you face you final test before you can call yourself rangers! It is a worst case scenario. Your riding dragon is dead. You have nothing, not even clothes. You don’t know where you are. The nearest sector base could a mile or a hundred miles away, there’s no way to know. Your mission is to make it back to a sector base, any sector base, since all of you will randomly distributed in all sections except for Sector Kappa or Sector Beta, you will not be close to civilization.” The forest was divided into twenty-two sections. Sector Kappa surrounded Teolos. Sector Beta bordered the Port of Brocenback.

“Nobody will be watching you. There is no time limit. There will be no rescue. While you might see patrols, they are under strict orders not to assist you in any way.  If you wander into an illegal logging camp and get raped and murdered, so be it! If you get eaten by predators, so be it! If you starve to death despite it being late spring, so be it! Cadets have died or gone permanently missing. Tomorrow I start on a new class of cadets, so I will not know or care if you make it!”

Every cadet stood motionless and at attention in their training armor. Most every cadet was holding back complete terror about what they were going to undergo. It was brutal, but the weak had quit long ago.

Ellara stopped and face the cadets. “It has been a pleasure training you. Your test starts… now!”

A hand reached around and held a chloroform rag to Metara’s face. She was out in seconds.


Metara awoke naked in a forested glade next to a clear stream. Song birds chirped down from the branches above. The air was cool against her skin but not cool enough to make her cold. It was mid-morning. She had plenty of daylight left.

Metara sat up and ran to the stream and took a drink of water. Then she over turned a large rock and found a few grubs squirming underneath.

As she ate, she looked around the glade, trying to find her spotter. She found her, perched in a tree at the edge of the glade, looking at her through binoculars, rifle and rucksack strapped to her back; a helmet completely obscured her identity. Metara waved and proceeded to cover herself in a thick layer of mud covered in leaves for camouflage.

Metara had done research on the final test and knew what Ellara had told her were almost all lies designed to scare cadets. Teolos wouldn’t sacrifice their valuable investments on a test. There was a time limit of twenty-four hours and every cadet had another ranger following them who would save them in case in they were going to die or not make it in time. But if they were saved, they would have to repeat the test. If one failed the test three times, they were out of the Rangers. Metara was not going to be one of those few.

Metara found a long stick on the ground. She stripped off the branches and sharpened the end.

Metara began follow the stream as it wound through the forest. Her spotter followed behind in the trees leaping from the branch to branch, trunk to trunk, running between them if the distance was too great.

Sector bases not sitting on a spring or beside a pond or lake were always sitting on the banks of a waterway. If Metara followed the stream long enough, she would arrive at a base as there were always at least three bases in every sector, one larger central one, and a few smaller outposts. It was quite possible they put her downstream from one, but it was equally possible they put her upstream. Even if she was downstream, continue on long enough, she’d still arrive at a base. While cadets were always placed by a stream most never thought to follow them.

As she traveled, Metara shrugged off her Teolian mores, becoming one with the forest, a being of nature, of Illwyn. She was a wild woman, free to run and live off the land. This was the true point of the test, of course. Metara would have fun.

A mile down, she encountered her first predator, a dire grizzly, a gargantuan brown bear with oversized claws. It was drinking from the stream and had not noticed her yet.  She was stuck.

The stream was too wide here to jump across, really a small river. While she could swim, her camouflage would wash off, and the bear could hunt in the water. Going around the bear would merely attract its attention. Trying to attack the bear was a death sentence.

Instead she stayed back and hid behind a tree until the bear wandered off again.

Further up she could hear the roar of water fall.

The stream dived off the cliff into a wide lagoon cut into the trees far below before moving on. She could see the tops of buildings peaking on the distant horizon. It had to be a few good miles, but the end was definitely in sight and reachable by water.  Metara squatted and peered down. There was no white water at the bottom, which meant it was safe to dive.

Metara walked up to the edge. She stood straight up, pulled back and dived off.

She did a perfect three turn drive, going deep into the water, able to touch the bottom if she stretched.

Metara swam to the surface, her camouflage washed off and leaving her bare. The water was freezing, but nothing she couldn’t handle. Metara swam laps around the lagoon; front stroke, back stroke and breast stroke.

A rucksack splashed down followed by her spotter, who was Ellara herself. “Cadet Fillion,” she yelled as she tread water in her armor, “what are you doing?”

Metara floated upright. “Taking a break, ma’am.”

“This is an exam, not a vacation!.”

“I thought I could as do I please as long as I made it to a base.”

Ellara frowned. Metara knew why. This test was not made for women like Metara. Most cadets struggled. Metara was enjoying the experience. “I’m giving you a challenge that you must complete or you fail.” She looked around for a minute, coming up with the challenge on this spot.  “Find another dire grizzly and kill it.”

“Isn’t hunting predators forbidden?”

“Not if it attacks you first.” She grabbed her nearby rucksack and swam to the shore. “Get going, this won’t be easy! I’ll be watching.” Ellara climbed up a tree and perched on a limb.

Metara left the lagoon and started to reapply her camouflage. She then had an idea.

She stopped reapplying and sharpened a stick. Then she sharpened a rock into a crude stone axe on another stone.

Metara dived back in the lagoon with her stick, looking for a fish to spear.

A largemouth bass was hanging around the bottom. Her breath was running out, but she stayed still and heaved the stick. It pierced the bass squarely. The bass floated to the surface, leaving a trail of blood.

Metara took the bass to the shore. Back on the mud and leaves went.  She smashed open the bass, and covered herself in fish guts. She then ran into the forest and climbed a tree with a big limb with her tools. All she had to do was wait and hope the kind of predator she wanted would follow her scent.

The all-male Teolian Warriors often criticized the all-female Teolian Rangers for being weak. They were giving rifles and riding-dragon and told to fight from a distance. They were priestesses of Illwyn, not battle hardened soldiers. But there Metara was, not even a full ranger yet, naked, covered in fish guts and mud, lying on a tree limb ready to kill a bear. The final test for a warrior cadet was assassinating a dummy without being detected. It was far from easy, but lame in comparison to surviving in the wilderness with nothing.

She wished her parents could see her now. She always came in second to her twin sister, who did everything they asked and never caused trouble. But now, while her sister had her head in a text somewhere, learning, Metara was being so exceptional, her spotter, her training mistress, had to give her a special challenge to keep her from showing up everyone. Her parents wouldn’t see this, but word would spread if she was successful. Hopefully, they’d be proud of her, but she wasn’t sure.

Metara waited for a good long while, the sun had moved overhead and towards the west a little. She passed the time in a light nap, one with forest.  She was awoken when she heard movement below and a dire grizzly, the same dire grizzly as before came towards her. It had walked down the steep forest inclines on the edges of the waterfall. It sniffed the base of tree and then looked up. The bear stood on its hind legs roared. Metara was out of reach of its front claws as it swiped.

Metara hurled her axe down into the bear’s face. It did no damage, but it caused the bear to fall back on its paws.

She fell onto the bear with her spear, locking her legs around its neck, just below its jaw line. The grizzly bucked and swiped, but it missed. Then it collapses tried to roll onto its back to crush her, but Metara made her move.

She slammed the spear into one of the bear’s eyes. Blood spewed; roars turned into squeals and whimpers as she dug it in.

The bear went silent and limp. Her makeshift spear had reached it brain, killing it. Metara kicked out from under it and stood up. She pulled out the spear and wiped some of the blood on her face.

With a bared chest, Metara let out a primal roar of her own, having conquered one of the fiercest predators in the Forest of Illwyn.

Metara heard clapping from above. Ellara was sitting on a limb in an adjacent tree with a faint smile on her face. “Congratulations, but I wouldn’t celebrate just yet, you have to make it to the base before you’ve officially passed.”

Metara walked back to the lagoon with slumped shoulder, her amazing victory trivialized in an instant.  But after what she just did, floating down a stream was easy.


Metara arrived at the Gamma Sector main base to cheers from the other rangers and was immediately given her official light ranger armor to wear. Metara had taken five hours and twenty-one minutes from waking up to arrival, most of that time spent waiting for the bear.

However, Metara was not the fastest to arrive at a base. Someone had beaten her by half an hour.

But the cadet who beat her didn’t have to kill a bear.



The Future of this site

Since my twitter feed is gone, nobody is looking….  except for the countless people who chime in  that I have to be lying about what I observed at Piratz because a slickly produced and edited reality show designed to tell a particular narrative cannot possibly be lying. It never fails to amaze me that people will believe anything a TV show tells them simply because it was on TV.

Anyways, it occurred to now that nobody is watching as hard, its time I go and write the K23 short stories that I’ve always wanted to write but didn’t have the guts too. So yes, there will be a season 3 of K23 Side Stories, and it be full of edgier stories involving mature content(mostly). Does this mean I’m writing a Deltan Skies sequel, possibly once I’m done with these stories. Also expect a return of media criticism articles.  I have a platform from which to speak, so why reinvent the wheel. So I’m not going anywhere, though you may get a site redesign and a new domain in time.


I’m exiting Twitter.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been dealing with issues that have made it clear that I can no longer be on Twitter. Therefore, I’m deleting my account and disappearing from it. Just know that I’m not disappearing completely,  but it will be without Twitter .I don’t see this as an end, but merely the beginning of a new era. What will probably happen is this blog will be retooled into something completely different. Probably a media review blog of some kind.

Stay tuned.


Essays Opinions

Why I have a problem with #yesallwomen

I cannot even imagine what’s its like to be a woman, not in a million years. I can write deep women in fiction, but they’re just characters from my head. The amount of sexism that women encounter in intense. Every day they have face harassment and threats of domestic violence and assault, that I, as a man, can not even begin to fathom. My heart goes out to them, really it does. I wish we could all be a equal, but that’s not the world we live in.

Then there’s #yesallwomen hashtag on Twitter and this is what I have a deep problem with.#yesallwomen is everything wrong with Twitter today. Yes the stories being shared is important and need to be shared 100%. The world needs to know, just not this way.

To understand my point of view, you have to separate the stories of domestic violence and abuse women face and look at it in terms of why the hashtag stated and the current state of discourse on Twitter. On the three years I’ve been on Twitter, it has degraded from a micro-blogging service to what amounts to a cesspool of yelling and screaming and various special interests hijacking Twitter for whatever fits their end. Time and time again, I’ve seen plenty of hashtags trend that are based on people jumping the gun and rage about whatever without thinking through the issues at hand.

The case in point is #yesallwomen, which started in the wake of Saturday’s shooting at UC Santa Barbara. Elliot Rodgers, who wrote a manifesto expressing his anger at women in general and sexually active men in particular, shot a guy a convenience store, stabbed 3 men in his apartment, then went to a sorority and shot two women and injured 13 others . Then somehow, in the wake of a horrible tragedy, we get a hashtag where women talk about the misogyny and violence they face in life, which is fine, but in context of the Santa Barbara shootings is  to me its very insensitive, because it forgets the male victims that died and instead becomes all about one man’s disturbed hatred of women.

Hijacking a tragedy where both men and women died and in-essence making it all about the women is insulting, and by denying the right for men to express that, women become everything they’ve accuse men of being. Women have being fighting against having their humanity stripped away for ages and in this instance are stripping men of their humanity. 4 men died in the rampage along with the 2 female victims, where’s the outrage against their deaths on Twitter?  I’ll tell you it certainly wasn’t in #yesallwomen.

The Santa Barbra shootings are not the platform to launch into a discussion about misogyny, not when both sexes were the targets of a twisted individual’s hate. Misogyny is a critical issue and needs to be discussed, just not this way, not this time.

That’s is why I have a problem with #yesallwomen and Twitter in general. A real tragedy is reduced to an excuse to rage against the machine, justified or not.  I today made some comments that were just plain wrong(stand corrected about men losing family court) and I’m sorry for those.  I don’t think I’m wrong in general and I’m not sorry for speaking out.

Women need to speak out against the horrible things they face in life, but they need to do it in the right context, and #yesallwomen is not the place to do it because they do so at the expense of a tragedy with real victims. Violence against men as an issue pales against violence against women in many respects, but we should we not forget that violence against men is still an issue, especially in light of a tragedy where four men died.



Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers